Men have arses too

  First it was the ankles, then it was the calf, there was probably arms and neck and I’m sure the ear got a mention before the breast became the main object of fascination. For ages. Everywhere you looked there was a mammary working round the clock to keep us all satisfied. But our appetite…

Starbucks Vs Beard

I gave up coffee because it was the equivalent of taking cocaine and 99% of the time I wasn’t in situations where this would be appropriate. If I do want coffee, there have never been as many opportunities to make my palms sweat and lose my mind as there are in Ireland today. Coffee is the…

A Fucket List; Swimming with Dolphins

A selection of activities to be found on Bucket Lists that make me think; Fuck, no. Dolphins can pass themselves as fun, sexy, helpful and intelligent but there’s a seediness to their character. The clowns of the sea indeed but more accurately, they are sea Bill Cosbys. Why would I want to swim with something…

The Hells on Earth Series; No1: Elevators

An ongoing series of places and situations that feel like hell on earth:  Elevators: The difficulty with this lazy mistress is quite complex, as I’ve fallen into the habit of calling them ‘elevators’ instead of ‘lifts’. This is a hanging offence for anyone who’s trying to remove all evidence that they grew up watching Friends…

Leave the dick at the door

Being a man is now like being a Scientology member or a vegan; no one really wants to talk about it anymore. Men, as a topic, had their day in the sun but now that sun has become a daughter( allowed?).The female identity has outgrown its old associations with pride so that being a woman…