A Fucket List; Swimming with Dolphins

A selection of activities to be found on Bucket Lists that make me think; Fuck, no.

Dolphins can pass themselves as fun, sexy, helpful and intelligent but there’s a seediness to their character. The clowns of the sea indeed but more accurately, they are sea Bill Cosbys. Why would I want to swim with something that looks unnervingly like a shark and that may be more intelligent than me but can’t communicate this which obviously makes them frustrated and more likely to head-butt? They can sense when you’re pregnant which makes them like gossipy aliens because they judge you if you’re not married to the father of the child.

Dolphins are also famously one of the only mammals that have sex for pleasure which has turned them into sex pests, a fact not known by many, as it is not totally true and mainly based on speculation, by me. Yet look at the evidence below. She’s only laughing because she’s been conditioned to think that they’re constantly joking.

The aggressive ones are treated as the outliers but really, are they? In short, it would take a lot of cash money to get me into the water with these seedy, seedy characters.

Yet all is not lost, why live life to the full when you can live it vicariously and to the max through someone else’s eyes:

 

 

 

 

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