Earth is getting too hot. Let’s go to Mars where it’s…hot as all hell

People can now fly to Mars quite cheaply if they have millions and millions of excess money in great big balls of cash. Elon Musk is dying to get people off planet earth . Maybe he’s done something very embarrassing here and wants to haul arse before we find out what it is, like if you see someone you once shifted at a party and then pretend to your friends that you want to leave because the music is shit but it’s really just because you’re very mortified or have lost hope in man kind and the earth’s ability to bounce back from the systematic abuse inflicted on its environment.

The new Space X spaceship can be used more than once like those weird period knickers. This will make space travel more affordable and essentially do for the Moon what Ryanair did for Spain in the 2000’s. Since Trump has already made shite of the progress made by Obama and climate change, we may need a plan B, somewhere to send our children. Like how posh people who hate their children use boarding schools.

The first song that was ever played on Mars was a song by the Black Eyed Peas or Will i Am, so if there is alien life, they’re probably already quietly judging us for our terrible taste, it could take generations to right that wrong. Elon Musk better get a team on it this soon. One or two references to an unheard of band will get the status back and mean that our life on Mars will be enjoyable once again. Thank bloody christ for that.

 

Image result for spaceship clipart

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