Get that rock Enda, for the love of God

Don’t put that Wolf Tones CD in the attic just yet because England has some of our land and we want it back. Not The North, never The North. A small lump of rock located in the North Atlantic Ocean has been causing controversy for decades now. For reasons I won’t go into because I don’t…

Ur Pugs R fkd

The pet dog gene pool is taking a hammering. More and more you find something that resembles a dog being walked around town but this breed of thing is so inbred that it is also somehow its own aunt, so now it struggles to breath without sounding like a photocopier. They love their owners but…

The Irish for ‘booty’ is ‘arse’

Dead poets, very good writers and decent spoken word, surely mean that when the Irish want to rap, the progression is natural, but we didn’t want that. The non-rappers were mortified on their behalves. The swagger and arrogance of hip-hop was the antithesis of the self-doubting and self-deprecation of the Irish. And as for the accent,…

Vanilla Children

If your child isn’t that sound, you have few choices. You can’t leave them with your parents because the chances are that they won’t relate to them. No, you’ll have to become less sound to meet them on their level or bully them into resignation. A few years ago parents and children would clash and…

Men have arses too

  First it was the ankles, then it was the calf, there was probably arms and neck and I’m sure the ear got a mention before the breast became the main object of fascination. For ages. Everywhere you looked there was a mammary working round the clock to keep us all satisfied. But our appetite…

Starbucks Vs Beard

I gave up coffee because it was the equivalent of taking cocaine and 99% of the time I wasn’t in situations where this would be appropriate. If I do want coffee, there have never been as many opportunities to make my palms sweat and lose my mind as there are in Ireland today. Coffee is the…